Birdsong continues to scour the wire service for those weird criminal law stories. These stories are all true, but weird. Here are a few more.
England: A British man has been banned from going to his girlfriend’s house because neighbors complained that the two have extremely loud sex. The neighbors said the couple – who live in public housing – screamed obscenities, loudly slammed the headboard into the wall and blasted music, all in the earshot of children.
Hey! It’s called doing the wild thing.
Deland, FL: A man in a Deland Publix grocery store was observed putting bottles of beer in his waistband. When confronted, he ran from the store. He dropped one bottle, but held onto two others until he tripped over a curb and fell. The bottles broke and the man suffered a laceration so severe that he was taken to the hospital for surgery. When he gets out of surgery police plan to arrest him for retail theft.
Hint: When stealing beer and going on the run…choose cans and not bottles, dope!
Grand Canyon, AZ: Two members of a group called the Typo Eradication Advancement League were arrested for defacing a historic, hand painted sign in the Grand Canyon by fixing grammatical errors on it. Both men were sentenced to a year’s probation and cannot enter any national park. They must also pay $3,035 to repair the sign.
So…the grammar police got policed!
Billings, Mont.: Federal agents were led straight to a man wanted for a fatal beating because he had his name tattooed on his head. That made it easy for the agents to find Sterling F. Wolfname – even though he tried to tell them he was somebody else.
Germany: A German judge had to call a recess when two feuding neighbors were acting like such idiots that she could not stop laughing. The two men had launched into calling each other childish names like “smelly bum” and “donkey face,” causing the judge to lose her composure.
Where is Judge Judy when you need her?
Dusseldorf, Germany: A German man, tossed out of his girlfriend’s apartment, has been living out of a luggage locker at the Dusseldorf train station for the past 10 years. Now authorities are trying to remove him and have him prosecuted for breach of the peace.
He could defend himself on the grounds of “adverse possession.”