Birdsong brings you more weird criminal law stories. Where do they get these people?
Dallas, TX: Guess this fellow needed an energy boost for the night he had planned. A wheelchair bound robber ignored a cash register at a Dallas 7-Eleven, snatching 10 packets of condoms and an energy drink. Cops said the suspect was probably drunk.
Valentine, NE: You know you are dealing with a special type of vandal when his calling card is leaving behind a greasy butt-print. For more than a year, an unknown bandit has been pressing his naked behind – smeared with lotion or petroleum jelly – on the windows of businesses in tiny Valentine Nebraska. “This is the weirdest case I’ve ever seen,” said Police Chief Ben McBride.
It’s obvious this pervert misses prison.
Florida: A Florida elementary school student tried to pay for lunch with a counterfeit $20 bill, one of dozens another student had been handing out. In all the eight year old passed out $880 in phony money, but officials say it is unclear where he obtained the currency. Of course, his parents, who police discovered had
criminal records, were arrested.
Charity does begin at home!
Germany: A miserly German man let his girlfriend stay in jail for 15 days because he was too cheap to pay her $350 fine. “People are very worried in the current economic climate and they have to make whatever savings they can,” said a police spokesman. “He saw not paying the fine as a simple savings.”
Hey cheapskate – you’ll save a lot of money when your girlfriend dumps you.
Maine: This stolen object was not hard to find. An 8 foot mechanical gorilla that was ripped off from in front of a Maine store has turned up hundreds of miles away in a Vermont cornfield. The store’s owners were able to track it down when the thief posted a video on the Internet demanding a $1 million ransom.
A million bucks! That would buy a lot of bananas.
Germany: This German likes his hikes au naturel. German janitor Thomas Kranig has been jailed for 10 days for taking strolls without his clothes on. Naked outdoor pursuits have gained a following since the German Society of Nudists joined the German Sports Association.
Yep, buck naked.