Posted by: birdsongslaw | December 25, 2008

Birdsong’s Weird Christmas Stories

Birdsong wishes Merry Christmas to everyone!  What would Christmas be without some weird Christmas stories?  Maybe you will get a Christmas chuckle from some of them.

Catalonia region, Spain: President-elect Obama might find himself in an odd place this holiday season — defecating in Spanish nativity scenes.  The president-elect has the dubious honor of being turned into a best-selling “caganer,” a figurine made to look like it is relieving itself that people from the region of Catalonia traditionally place in Christmas scenes.  The bizarre statutes are supposed to bring prosperity and a good harvest.

Sounds like a pooping good time!

England:  The war on terror and Christmas meet up.  An English grandmother accidentally received a high-powered machine gun in the mail that was supposed to go to the local police’s anti-terror squad.  The mix up happened because of the flood of Christmas presents at the local post office.

Yep, always blame the post office for these little mix-up.  Actually, some grannies need tommies.

St. Louis, MO:  A burglar trying to break into a St. Louis pawn shop took a page out of Santa’s playbook by sliding down the chimney.   However, he must have been a lot bigger than jolly St. Nick because he got stuck.  It took authorities three hours to break away the bricks and set him free…well maybe not exactly “free.”

Free at last, free at last.  Thank god almighty I am free at last!  NOT!

Southampton, England:  England has emerged as one of the key battlegrounds in the War on Christmas!  Secular progressives on the Southampton Town Council have ordered a lollipop seller to remove festive tinsel from his roadside stall because it could distract drivers.  Parents are protesting the decision, and the council said it would reconsider.

What Grinches!

New York Post, December 10, 2008: Here is a front on the War on Christmas where secular progressives have not gained any ground.  Farmers who rent out animals for Nativity scenes say business is booming despite the recession.  The fees aren’t cheap: renting a camel can cost $500 to $700 a day with its handler and insurance.

Blandford, England: A British vicar has banned the Christmas carol “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” saying it does not represent the modern-day reality of the strife torn city.  The Rev. Stephen Coulter of Blandford, told parishioners not to sing the carol after visiting the west Bank.  Where shepherds once watched over their flocks by night, security guards now watch over the people who live there, he said.

Away in a Manger might be more appropriate.

 Linz, Austria:  People at the Linz town hall saw their environmentally green nativity crib nearly get the heave-ho because the mayor mistakenly thought it was trash and called a cleaning crew.  The display made from recycled packaging material, was meant as a criticism of holiday commercialization, but Mayor Franz Dobusch was the last one to get the message.  The red-faced official backed off after the artist’s friends got wind of the dumping plan.

One man’s trash is another man’s…. (You know)

This Last one was sent in by Birdsong’s Criminal Law student Alexandra Kardon:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Snowzilla is no more. Municipal officials in Anchorage have given a cease-and-desist order to builders of the giant snowman that made appearances the last three years in an east Anchorage neighborhood. The giant snowman was a favorite for photographers and camera crews from Russia and Japan filmed the temporary sculpture. Snowzilla in 2005 rose 16 feet. He had a corncob pipe and a carrot nose and two eyes made out of beer bottles.He was built in the front yard of the Powers family home and Billy Powers said his children collected snow from neighbors homes to add to the height and breadth.

The snowman was built even higher in succeeding years, but not everybody in the neighborhood liked all the cars and visitors who came to see him.

City officials deemed Snowzilla a public nuisance and safety hazard.A few weeks ago, code enforcers left red signs at Snowzilla’s bottom body ball telling its builders to cease and desist. The city also tacked a public notice on the door of the Powers home.City officials said the structure increased traffic to the point of endangerment and that the snowman itself was unsafe.When the notices went up, Snowzilla still didn’t have a full torso or head. “The kids had spent hours and hours of work on it,” Billy Powers said Sunday.

Now, Snowzilla is just a big pile of snow rubble. Powers said he doesn’t plan to rebuild.

 

 

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