More weird criminal law stories brought to you by Birddsong. Enjoy.
Fayetteville, AR: An Arkansas man is suing McDonald’s after he left his cellphone – with photos of his nude wife – at one of the burger joints and the hot pix wound up on the Internet. He’s seeking $3 million claiming the couple must find a new home because of the shame of it all.
Yo! You want fries with that naked lady?
Apex, NC: Postman Steven Padgett was sentenced to probation by a federal judge after pleading guilty to failing to deliver junk mail for years. Postal inspectors found piles of third-class mail in Padgett’s garage and buried in his backyard. When authorities contacted hundreds of his customers about the crime, only one responded – and that person supported him.
They should have given Padgett a medal, not probation!
Raleigh, NC: A shopper used a frozen turkey to club a carjacker who was attacking a woman, police said. Fred Louis Ervin stole money from a gas station before running across the street to a grocery store, where he beat Irene Moorman Bailey while stealing her car. A shopper came to her aid then brained Ervin with the frozen bird.
Can we say Ervin was “bird brained?”
North Carolina: A N.C. man stole the identity of a 3-year old girl to sign up for telephone and gas service. When the little girl’s grandmother started getting bills in her granddaughter’s name and a collection agency arrived at their home, she called police. Cops busted Michael John Maris and charged him with identity theft.
How dastardly of you Maris! Taking advantage of a 3-year old!
New Mexico: A drunken driver who led N.M. police on a wild chase was stopped after he toppled out of his moving car and was run over by it. The painful end to the chase took place when the man got his vehicle stuck in a ditch, gunned it in reverse and fell out of the door. His legs were run over, but he suffered only minor injuries.
Mexico: A motorist in Mexico got himself into a jam when he spotted a broken pickup truck and pulled over to help the driver, a woman wearing a sexy miniskirt. She told him that accomplices had trained a gun on him, then she Superglued his hands to the steering wheel and robbed him. “He probably thought it was his lucky day when he saw the woman in the miniskirt,” said police spokesman David Perales. “He was surprised when she glued him up.”
She stoops to conquer….