Birdsong continues to scour the wire services and the internet for those whacky,weird criminal law stories. Here are a few more for you reading delight.
Portland, OR: This granny didn’t need a hatpin. An 88-year old woman in Portland fended off an intruder in her home by grabbing his crouch and squeezing with all of her might. The defensive move forced the man to run out of her house in agony. He was arrested a short while later.
One might say her actions “took real balls.”
Ohio: A 4-year old Ohio boy — angry that his baby sitter accidently stepped on his foot — grabbed his father’s shotgun from a closet and opened fire. The sitter suffered only minor injuries and the child has not been charged with a crime. Authorities are investigating whether the parents were negligent.
Negligence my foot! This kid is on an early start to becoming a sociopath. He needs to be in reform school.
Portland, ME: In Maine a Portland man was arrested after cops found him drunk and slumped over the wheel of a Zamboni – a giant ice-conditioning vehicle – that had crashed into the wall of the civic center where he had broken in. He also damaged a hockey net.
Chicago, IL: You know this guy wanted to get caught. A dunderheaded bank robber in Chicago handed a teller a note – written on the back of his pay stub. The FBI was able to track him down easily when he left behind the note bearing his name and address. The dunderhead faces 20 years in jail.
Oregon: A bumbling thief was foiled while robbing an Oregon car wash when he dropped his gun and it broke apart mid-heist. An employee then drove him off by blasting him with a power washer. The sad and soggy sack ran off, and still has not been caught.
Miami, FL: Fidel Castro was locked up in Florida during the last week of 2008. No, not that Fidel. We’re talking about Fidel Christian Castro, a 32 year old repeat offender who was cuffed in Miami after he was caught driving despite having had his license permanently revoked.
El Stupido 2!