Posted by: birdsongslaw | May 18, 2009

Weird Criminal Law Stories 59

The weird criminal law stories never seem to end.  There are some really stupid criminals out there.  Read on.

Houston, TX : Maybe Matlock will represent him!  A man named Perry Mason was busted in Houston for illegally trying to steer clients to a lawyer for legal services.  Mason, who is not a lawyer, was charged with barratry — a fancy way of calling him an ambulance chaser.  Raymond Burr could not be reached for comment — as he died in 1993.

It’s  a shame Johnny Cochrane  is no longer with us.

Peoria, IL: A 13 year old boy got an early jump on a life of crime when he robbed a bank in Peoria.  Cops caught the boy red-handed — literally — several blocks away after a dye pack exploded and covered his hands with red ink.  “It’s the youngest suspect I can remember,” said Sheriff Michael McCoy, a 40 year veteran of the police force.  Prosecutors are discussing whether to charge the boy as an adult.

Why do that…he already has the Scarlet letter on his hands.

New York, NY: A man trying to smuggle rare tortoises into the United States got stopped by customs after he claimed that he was actually bringing in scorpions — thinking they wouldn’t get anyone’s attention.  “The package was labeled as containing 50 live scorpions.” When it was mailed through JFK Airport, court documents said.  But all an inspector found was “14 live leopard tortoises and one dead one.”

Wonder what might have happened if the customs agents did find  live scorpions…?

Acworth, GA:  A good Samaritan got Neanderthal on this thief.  A robber who tried to hold up an Acworth convenience store at knife point was thwarted when a customer — whose nickname is “Caveman” — gave him a shot over the head with a stepladder.  The thief dropped the cash and fled with one big headache.

BA   NAN  NA!

Chicago, IL: A Chicago teen who robbed a Dunkin’ Donuts had a pang of conscience and returned an hour later to give back the $167 he took and asked the clerk for a hug.  Unfortunately, the clerk spoke little English and did not understand the apology.  The Po Po charged the 17 year old thief with aggravated robbery.

El Stupido!

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