Knoxville, TN: This just in for the upcoming Father’s Day. Desmond Hatchett, a 29-year old in Knoxville has fathered 21 children with 11 women — a probable U.S. record. The children range in age from newborn to 11. Hatchett’s extended family came to light recently when authorities took him to court for failing to pay child support. He said 21 kids are enought, adding, I’m done!”
Gosh..we sure hope so. What a lot of mouths to feed.
Pennsylvania: This one is about heavy petting. A 66 year old Pennsylvania man was arrested after he admitted to his relatives that he was having a sexual relationship with the family dog. Robert John Ward — a previously convicted sex offender — was jailed after Police performed a human rape kit exam on the canine to prove that she had been molested!
Vassalboro, ME: A waitress at a topless doughnut shop in Maine was spotted “in uniform” — meaning out of her shirt — away from the business, authorities said. A state trooper was sent to the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in Vassalboro after someone called in a complaint. No one was charged but the matter has been turned over to the DA for review.
Sure! The DA needs to examine the photographic evidence.
Memphis, TN: Snake shoot. Two men who tried to bring a pet snake into a Memphis barbershop got shot when the owner objected. One man took a bullet in the hand, the other in the arm.
A far cry from snakes on a plane…
Wichita, KN: This Kansas man drove his car through the front of Wichita’s City Hall — because police had asked him to turn down his stereo. Marcus Johnson, 33, smashed his car through the glass front doors, careened down a hallway and nearly ran over people getting into an elevator. He has been sentenced to 10 years in prison.
Now we can say he is facing the music! Get it…
Winston-Salem, NC: A teenager was busted in Winston-Salem cops say for allegedly trying to stick up an Internet cafe — with a banana. John Szwalla, 17, demanded money, claiming his banana was a gun, before owner Bobby Ray Mabe and a customer jumped him. Unfortunately, by the time police arrived, Szwalla had eaten the evidence.
Fond du Lac, WI: Monkey see, monkey do, monkey steal! A bandit dressed in a gorilla suit has been entering gas station convenience stores in Fond du Lac, and stealing Styro-foam display bananas. Police believe it might be teenagers making an Internet prank video.