Waterbury, CN: A female employee at at a Connecticut police academy got just what she asked for. License and Applications analyst Rochelle Wyler got annoyed when a fellow worker, ex-Waterbury Police Captain Francis Woodruff, called her a “clerk,” She responded, “Bite me!” He did, police said. On her arm. He was charged with disorderly conduct.
South Carolina: Recently a funeral director in this state was stripped of his license after he came up with the creepiest solution to an unusual situation — a corpse too big to fit in the coffin. Funeral director Michael Cave had one of his employees cut the legs off the 6-foot-7 man. The decedent’s wife said she had picked the standard coffin, and Cave — who was also fined $400 — had never suggested a bigger casket.
Yes, yes…We know… He was thinking outside the box..Yuk, Yuk , Yuk.
Chile, South America: The cocaine wasn’t in the suitcase. It was the suitcase. Chilean police say two suitcases carried by a woman about to fly to Spain were made of the drug — actually, a substance combining cocaine with resin and glass fiber. They said a chemical process could have been used to sift out the drug.
They should have transported the coke in a submarine… I hear that’s all the rage these days…
Seattle, WA: It doesn’t pay to be the first zombie to arrive for a zombie convention. A man dressed in all black, knee pads, a gas mask and carrying what appeared to be a machine gun was the first guest at an event promoting the Crypticon Horror Convention in Seattle, but someone mistook him for a gunman and called police. A dozen police cars responded before someone realized the mistake. No arrest was made.
Bet that was one embarrassed dummy…I mean zombie…