Philadelphia, PA: A suburban Philly man wanted passionately to stop children from playing in front of his home. But when Michael Buck, 27 blared a pornographic soundtrack to repel children from his cul-de-sac, he also pissed off neighbors a block and half away. Police arrested Buck, who will have to do 20 hours of community service and undergo anger-management counseling.
Debby Dallas, maybe?
Salt Lake City, UT: 35 years to pay his debt to society. A Salt Lake man who stole a stop sign in 1974 has mailed a $600 cashier’s check to the Utah Transportation Department. he identified himself as a former “very foolish youth” who feared for years that his prank caused an accident.
You are redeemed my son…now go in peace….
Bennington, VT: Police in this Vermont city arrested a guy for driving drunk after spotting the half empty beer glass that he had left on the trunk of his car as he pulled away from a bar. When they asked him if he had been drinking, John Campbell, 59, denied it, but they already had all the proof they needed.
United Kingdom: Pagan cops of the world, unite! English police officers who practice witchcraft as their religion are trying to set up a Pagan Police Association. If they get approval from authorities, they’ll get off eight Pagan holidays a year, including Halloween. In all, the group estimates there are 500 Pagan cops in England.
Good Lord, what’s next?